My great grandmother lived most of her life in the small towns and rural communities of western Manitoba during a time when fast and efficient communication was virtually nonexistent. Apart from face-to-face contact, communication between residents was limited, as technologies such as telephone systems were not yet widely available. Churches, schoolhouses, the post office, and local places of commerce served as the main gathering places where community members connected to share news and socialize.
It is easy to imagine how much people looked forward to these gatherings. In rural life, where isolation and monotony were often an unavoidable reality, such moments offered connection and relief from boredom. One can also appreciate how small communities might occasionally embrace a bit of “drama” to add excitement to otherwise difficult or routine lives. As a result, “small-town talk” was common in my great grandmother’s era.
This context brings us to her article of November 1, 1915, in which she warns of the negative turn such talk can take within a community. True to her values, she approaches the subject of gossip from an ethical perspective, one grounded in careful decision-making and personal accountability.
She makes it clear that regardless of how amusing or insignificant repeating a rumor or negative comment about a fellow community member may seem, gossip is inherently destructive. While the harm may appear directed at the person being spoken about, she argues that it ultimately reflects just as poorly, if not more so, on the one who spreads it.
She offers three key observations about those who engage in gossip. First, she notes that while gossipers may attempt to elevate their own sense of worth, they instead reveal their own insecurities. Second, through the sharing of gossip, they demonstrate themselves to be untrustworthy, for if they speak freely about others, they will almost certainly do the same about you. Finally, she suggests that gossip poisons the social atmosphere, fostering a climate where negativity and toxicity take hold.
For des Bois, the remedy is simple but demanding. As members of families and communities, our responsibility is to guide conversations toward what is good. Rather than tear others down, we should seek to uplift them. In doing so, we cultivate a culture grounded in kindness, integrity, and respect.
As in her other writings, des Bois ultimately calls for discernment, value-driven choices, and compassion, principles that remain as relevant today as they were more than a century ago.
Today, with the technological advances of the past hundred years since the era of Francoise des Bois, the concept of “gossip” has taken on an entirely new and far more troubling dimension. We no longer need to meet face to face in homes, churches, schools, or local gathering places to socialize and exchange information. With web-based technologies and social media platforms, information now travels instantaneously.
While these modern advancements undeniably help break down barriers of distance and social isolation, they also allow a darker side of human nature to surface and spread with unprecedented speed, often with the simple click of a button. Gossip of every kind (personal, social, or political) now circulates widely in the form of misinformation or information stripped of context. In this environment, the consequences of sharing what is untrue or misrepresented can extend far beyond the small circles of family or community that once contained it.
The problem is further magnified by the instant affirmations of “likes” and “reposts,” which often reinforce and amplify toxic or misleading content. For this reason, Francoise des Bois’s moral and ethical call for discernment carries even greater weight today than it did in her time.
The troubling reality, however, is that discernment has become increasingly difficult to practice. The technologies we hold in our hands, driven by algorithms designed to influence our behaviour and decision-making, exert a growing power over our attention and actions.
As her great-granddaughter, and with the privilege of extending her words into today’s context, I echo her message: act with discernment. This requires awareness of how digital platforms can hijack our attention and shape our responses. It also requires the deliberate cultivation of critical thinking. Time and effort must be taken to evaluate the information and content we consume.
In an age where we are constantly bombarded with sensationalized and emotionally charged material, this task is becoming increasingly difficult. Nevertheless, small steps can help us regain some control. Adjusting privacy and content settings to limit data collection can reduce the constant barrage. In the spirit of des Bois, practicing discernment today may also mean limiting screen time and establishing healthier routines around our digital engagement.
For my great-grandmother, the woods surrounding her home offered refuge and clarity. Her nom de plume, “des Bois,” reflected her deep love for the natural world, a place that brought her peace, calm, and perspective. Perhaps there is wisdom for us there as well.
From time to time, we would do well to set our devices aside and step back into the quiet beauty of the natural world to reset, reflect, and restore ourselves. In such spaces, discernment can grow.
True discernment, as Francoise des Bois understood, is cultivated in solitude, silence, reflection, and prayer. Her insights prove to motivate and inspire today.
Denise Larrivee